Confidence

Can I be honest with you? I don’t struggle in the area of lacking confidence. That may sound prideful or arrogant. It may seem a bit forward, I’m just being honest here. Don’t get me wrong, I have deep insecurities – too many to list on this page. (I really don’t want to list them anyway!) But I don’t LACK confidence.

You don’t either.

I’m not trying to psycho-analyze anyone here, and I am, by no standards, a counselor or psychiatrist.

Every one of us has confidence. We take our hopes, trust, belief, strengths, dreams, abilities, desires … all the things that make up confidence … and we put them in something or someone. We see someone who has a low self-esteem or extreme insecurities and we qualify them as having “low” self-confidence, or we see someone who has a high level of belief in their own abilities and call them “over” confident.

It’s a tricky thing, really. We don’t want to put too much confidence in ourselves lest we become prideful and arrogant (after all, Jesus died for you, you didn’t save yourself), but at the same time we don’t want to degrade or undervalue who God made us to be lest we cripple ourselves with a false sense of negative self-worthy (after all, Jesus died for you, you were worth saving).

That’s why I believe the issue isn’t really whether we HAVE confidence; the issue is what we place our confidence IN.

The person who has low “self-confidence” doesn’t lack confidence, they simply don’t place their confidence in themselves. The person who is “over-confident” is placing their confidence into themselves only.

What is the object of your confidence? What do you place your confidence in?

If you are a Christ-follower take a minute to really dig this one out …

• When you say you are confident that God is going to do something on your behalf but it doesn’t happen fast enough, do you pull your confidence from God and put it in yourself, taking matters into your own hands?
• When you say you are confident the Lord will answer your prayers, but after a while His silence causes you to change your request in a way that it appears He said “yes,” is your confidence in Him, or in an affirmative answer?
• How about when you talk to all your prayer partners about a sin issue instead of confessing it to God?
• Or when you skip seeking Him out at all because you think you already know His answer?

So many times we think we are placing our confidence in Him, but we are really only placing our confidence in what we can do or what we can understand.

I read though David’s thoughts in the Bible – his story, his pleadings, his praises, his struggles, his anger with God – and I marvel at his confidence. I believe there was a time that he place all of his confidence in the wrong person (himself) and we all know how that turned out (Bathsheba, Uriah, the death of his own son). It was here that David’s heart changed. He was broken. His confidence in himself was shattered from his hold and rebuilt in the Lord. His words in Psalm 51 – crying out for God to forgive Him according to His (the Lord’s) mercy, asking God to restore the joy of HIS (God’s) salvation. Then his words in Psalm 57:

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me …”
- Psalm 57:2

And then later:

“My heart is confident in You, O God, my heart is confident! No wonder I can sing your praises!”
- Psalm 57:7 

What are you placing your confidence in today?

• In your power, or His power in you?
• In your desires, or His desires for you?
• In your abilities, or in His capabilities?
• In His answers, or in Him alone?

When our confidence is in the right place, we can pray like David:

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.”
- Psalm 25:4,5

(Now THAT’S confidence!)

No Volume – Hearing God’s Voice

I had breakfast with a friend from our church the other morning who happens to be a drill instructor in the Marines. (Imagine a bald John Cena.) This is a guy who knows and understands the importance of volume and authority, which is what made the conversation so interesting and ironic.

We were talking about hearing God’s voice in our lives and how, many times, we just can’t seem to find it. He used a great phrase that they use at Parris Island (Marine Base) to communicate a missing voice of authority. “They have NO VOLUME.”

It got me thinking.

There are only two ways a voice loses volume:

• The voice quiets down to silence
• Other voices get louder.

So here’s a simple thought to chew on: If God’s voice has no volume in your life right now, is it because He is silent, or because you’re listening to too many other voices?

I love the story of Elijah in 19. This great prophet of God has just called down fire from heaven and destroyed every prophet of Baal in the land through a head-to-head dual. After this great victory, the queen, Jezebel, sends a message to Elijah that when she finds him, she is going to kill him; so, he runs. (Strange thing to do after calling fire down from heaven, if you ask me, but that’s a different story.)

After running he ends up in a cave listening for the voice of God. The Lord tells Elijah to go outside and stand before Him on the side of the mountain. The Lord passes Elijah three different times, first in a wind storm, then in an earthquake, and finally in a fire. Each time we are told that the Lord wasn’t in any of them.

Now, think about that for a minute … all of the powers of nature, under God’s command, including fire, which Elijah just called down from heaven … but God wasn’t in any of them.

Finally, the Bible says, “And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he … went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.” (1 Kings 19:13)

Read that again. Notice when Elijah went out to stand before God? “When Elijah heard it (the whisper).”

So many times I have read this passage and thought about listening for God’s still, small voice in the midst of chaos, and that’s an important lesson, but there is another lesson to learn from Elijah:

Elijah recognized God’s voice.

• It wasn’t that God’s voice was louder than everything else – He didn’t speak in the wind, quake, or fire.
• It wasn’t that God’s voice was the only voice. I know I’m reading into it a bit, but Elijah was afraid, tired, frustrated, and alone. What voices do you hear when you feel like that? Not to mention he was in a cave on a hillside after a windstorm, earthquake, and fire!

But when God did speak, Elijah new His voice.

In your life right now, does God’s voice have volume?

If not, before you blame Him for speaking too soft or not loud enough, maybe you should take time getting to know what His voice sounds like so you’ll recognize it when He does speak.

• Spend time in His Word (the Bible, not someone else’s book about the Bible).
• Spend time in prayer, alone, listening, not telling God what you want or asking Him for stuff.
• Spend time worshiping Him however you worship Him best – in nature, with music, with art, writing, singing, contemplating, journaling.
• Spend time with Him … getting to know His voice.

Just a thought from one trying to listen too …

Losing My Way

I have been a Jesus follower for most of my life. In fact, I’ve been following Him for so long that I don’t remember not following Him. When I was in 5th grade I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life – I remember the powder blue suit I wore the day I was baptized. I was super involved in youth programs at my home church (Southport Heights Christian Church) growing up, I went to Bible College (Cincinnati Christian University) and earned Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees, and I’ve been in “located church ministry” for over 16 years now. Sounds like I should be pretty good at this being a disciple of Jesus thing … but I’m not. Recently I discovered a deep, deep problem in my spiritual journey.

The journey I was tracking with wasn’t mine.

Strange as that sounds, I’ll bet I’m not the only one that has realized this mistake. Let me tell you how this happens … As the pastor of a church, I spend a lot of time thinking about, praying for, and generally worrying over other people’s faith. In my mind all of these individual journeys collectively become the faith journey of our church. It is here that my identity crisis begins. At first it is easy to keep the faith journey of the church separate from my own faith journey, but as time passes, my spiritual well-being tends to rise and fall with the spiritual well-being of the church. Without noticing it, the two become intrinsically connected … but I can’t see it …

• I can’t see that I am no longer growing my own faith; I’m too busy trying to grow the church’s faith
• I can’t see that my spiritual strengths are beginning to atrophy from lack of use because I’m too focused on everyone else’s strengths and weaknesses.
• I can’t see my spiritual journey anymore, I’m too busy looking at everyone else’s.
• Unbeknownst to me, my weaknesses … and doubts … are deepening.

Before long, my identity is tied up in everything around me, specifically the rise and fall of the church, and I stop looking for the pitfalls in my own faith.

• Spending time with God turns into enduring time for God.
• Ministering to people becomes working for pay.
• Spiritual growth in the church turns into a check mark for organizational success.
• Questions become doubts.
• Conviction becomes guilt.
• Sin grows unbeatable.

As a leader in the church, I am now leading out of fear instead of following out of faith. Fear of failure. Fear of God really showing up. Fear of being found out. I am no longer a follower of Christ; I am no longer following at all. I’ve lost my way. I think this is one of the greatest “blind spots” of pastors and leaders today. It is a blind spot because we usually don’t see what we aren’t focused on. We focus on the spiritual growth/failings of the church so strenuously that we ignore our own spiritual needs. It is a blind spot because we very rarely allow people around us into our spiritual journey deep enough to see the difference. It is a blind spot because we would often rather try to fix everyone else around us instead of taking a good, long, hard look in the mirror. So today, take a good look.

1. Look at your spiritual health – not the church’s and not someone else’s. Are you advancing in your faith or falling away from it?
2. Look at your habits – what you are doing and what you aren’t doing. Are you exercising your faith or is your faith beginning to atrophy?
3. Look at your entire life – physical, emotional, and spiritual. Are other areas of your life falling apart too? Physical well being? Temper? Emotions?
4. Look at your struggles - Are temptations growing stronger? Do you find yourself in compromising positions more often?

No one knows they need to be found until they first realize they are lost. If you are where I was, you can find your way again, but it isn’t easy. It takes some thick skin, some perseverance, and a lot of help and grace:

1. Thick Skin – God will take a scalpel to your spiritual journey and separate it from the journey you thought you were on. Surgery hurts.
2. Perseverance – This is the part where the Holy Spirit begins to heal you. Think of it as physical therapy to reengage your weakened muscles.
3. A Lot of Help – You can’t do this alone. You will need a cheering section and an accountability partner. People you trust, who will help you, not judge you.
4. Grace – While your perspective will change, it will take a while for your lifestyle and habits to come along. I’m so grateful for God’s grace!

For me, my spiritual journey feels fresh again, for the first time in a long time. I feel like I am climbing the mountain again, which is both frightening and exhilarating. My muscles ache, my mind swims with doubts, and I’m just taking small step. But I know where I am, and I know where I’m going. It feels good to know my way again.