Lacking

I have been struggling lately.  I don’t know why, but when I look at my journal pages, I want to write, but I’ve got nothing.  I pick up a book to start reading and while my hands turn the pages and highlight the words, I don’t remember anything that I read.  When I hear worship songs lately I hear the words and sense the emotion, but I feel … to be honest … nothing.

What’s going on?

I seem to have fallen into this sense of lethargy.  Have you ever felt that way.

Tired.

Not from a lack of sleep, but definitely from a lack of something.  A lack of heart.  A lack of passion.  A lack of interest.  A lack of motivation.  A lack of intention, or desire, or energy.

You know, just a lacking …

At Live Oak we are wrapping up the One Month to Live study and I have found myself riveted by the thought, “How would I live my life differently if I lived like I only had one month left to live?’

I wouldn’t be lacking, I can tell you that!

But here I am, knowing that I need to live NOW, but wanting to do it later!

Maybe it’s the fall weather.  Maybe it’s the chest cold I’m battling.  Maybe it’s just a lack of deep, peaceful rest.

Here’s the irony.  In this lethargy, this lacking that I’m struggling with, what I need the most, is to be still, without distraction, and listen to the heart of God.  I need to press my ear to his chest and rediscover his rhythm.  I need to fill the “lacking” in my heart with the beating of his.

This may seem like a strange blog, but its what is on my heart today.  Sometimes I get preachy and other times I try to be challenging.  Today I think I’m just supposed to encouraging.  I pray that anyone reading this will take the time to be still, rediscover God’s pulse in their life, and live it now … lacking nothing.

~ by mbeau24 on October 20, 2009.