Can I be honest with you? I don’t struggle in the area of lacking confidence. That may sound prideful or arrogant. It may seem a bit forward, I’m just being honest here. Don’t get me wrong, I have deep insecurities – too many to list on this page. (I really don’t want to list them anyway!) But I don’t LACK confidence.

You don’t either.

I’m not trying to psycho-analyze anyone here, and I am, by no standards, a counselor or psychiatrist.

Every one of us has confidence. We take our hopes, trust, belief, strengths, dreams, abilities, desires … all the things that make up confidence … and we put them in something or someone. We see someone who has a low self-esteem or extreme insecurities and we qualify them as having “low” self-confidence, or we see someone who has a high level of belief in their own abilities and call them “over” confident.

It’s a tricky thing, really. We don’t want to put too much confidence in ourselves lest we become prideful and arrogant (after all, Jesus died for you, you didn’t save yourself), but at the same time we don’t want to degrade or undervalue who God made us to be lest we cripple ourselves with a false sense of negative self-worthy (after all, Jesus died for you, you were worth saving).

That’s why I believe the issue isn’t really whether we HAVE confidence; the issue is what we place our confidence IN.

The person who has low “self-confidence” doesn’t lack confidence, they simply don’t place their confidence in themselves. The person who is “over-confident” is placing their confidence into themselves only.

What is the object of your confidence? What do you place your confidence in?

If you are a Christ-follower take a minute to really dig this one out …

• When you say you are confident that God is going to do something on your behalf but it doesn’t happen fast enough, do you pull your confidence from God and put it in yourself, taking matters into your own hands?
• When you say you are confident the Lord will answer your prayers, but after a while His silence causes you to change your request in a way that it appears He said “yes,” is your confidence in Him, or in an affirmative answer?
• How about when you talk to all your prayer partners about a sin issue instead of confessing it to God?
• Or when you skip seeking Him out at all because you think you already know His answer?

So many times we think we are placing our confidence in Him, but we are really only placing our confidence in what we can do or what we can understand.

I read though David’s thoughts in the Bible – his story, his pleadings, his praises, his struggles, his anger with God – and I marvel at his confidence. I believe there was a time that he place all of his confidence in the wrong person (himself) and we all know how that turned out (Bathsheba, Uriah, the death of his own son). It was here that David’s heart changed. He was broken. His confidence in himself was shattered from his hold and rebuilt in the Lord. His words in Psalm 51 – crying out for God to forgive Him according to His (the Lord’s) mercy, asking God to restore the joy of HIS (God’s) salvation. Then his words in Psalm 57:

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me …”
- Psalm 57:2

And then later:

“My heart is confident in You, O God, my heart is confident! No wonder I can sing your praises!”
- Psalm 57:7 

What are you placing your confidence in today?

• In your power, or His power in you?
• In your desires, or His desires for you?
• In your abilities, or in His capabilities?
• In His answers, or in Him alone?

When our confidence is in the right place, we can pray like David:

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.”
- Psalm 25:4,5

(Now THAT’S confidence!)

We were talking about hearing God’s voice in our lives and how, many times, we just can’t seem to find it. He used a great phrase that they use at Parris Island (Marine Base) to communicate a missing voice of authority. “They have NO VOLUME.”

It got me thinking.

There are only two ways a voice loses volume:

• The voice quiets down to silence
• Other voices get louder.

So here’s a simple thought to chew on: If God’s voice has no volume in your life right now, is it because He is silent, or because you’re listening to too many other voices?

I love the story of Elijah in 19. This great prophet of God has just called down fire from heaven and destroyed every prophet of Baal in the land through a head-to-head dual. After this great victory, the queen, Jezebel, sends a message to Elijah that when she finds him, she is going to kill him; so, he runs. (Strange thing to do after calling fire down from heaven, if you ask me, but that’s a different story.)

After running he ends up in a cave listening for the voice of God. The Lord tells Elijah to go outside and stand before Him on the side of the mountain. The Lord passes Elijah three different times, first in a wind storm, then in an earthquake, and finally in a fire. Each time we are told that the Lord wasn’t in any of them.

Now, think about that for a minute … all of the powers of nature, under God’s command, including fire, which Elijah just called down from heaven … but God wasn’t in any of them.

Finally, the Bible says, “And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he … went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.” (1 Kings 19:13)

Read that again. Notice when Elijah went out to stand before God? “When Elijah heard it (the whisper).”

So many times I have read this passage and thought about listening for God’s still, small voice in the midst of chaos, and that’s an important lesson, but there is another lesson to learn from Elijah:

Elijah recognized God’s voice.

• It wasn’t that God’s voice was louder than everything else – He didn’t speak in the wind, quake, or fire.
• It wasn’t that God’s voice was the only voice. I know I’m reading into it a bit, but Elijah was afraid, tired, frustrated, and alone. What voices do you hear when you feel like that? Not to mention he was in a cave on a hillside after a windstorm, earthquake, and fire!

But when God did speak, Elijah new His voice.

In your life right now, does God’s voice have volume?

If not, before you blame Him for speaking too soft or not loud enough, maybe you should take time getting to know what His voice sounds like so you’ll recognize it when He does speak.

• Spend time in His Word (the Bible, not someone else’s book about the Bible).
• Spend time in prayer, alone, listening, not telling God what you want or asking Him for stuff.
• Spend time worshiping Him however you worship Him best – in nature, with music, with art, writing, singing, contemplating, journaling.
• Spend time with Him … getting to know His voice.

Just a thought from one trying to listen too …

Strange as that sounds, I’ll bet I’m not the only one that has realized this mistake. Let me tell you how this happens … As the pastor of a church, I spend a lot of time thinking about, praying for, and generally worrying over other people’s faith. In my mind all of these individual journeys collectively become the faith journey of our church. It is here that my identity crisis begins. At first it is easy to keep the faith journey of the church separate from my own faith journey, but as time passes, my spiritual well-being tends to rise and fall with the spiritual well-being of the church. Without noticing it, the two become intrinsically connected … but I can’t see it …

• I can’t see that I am no longer growing my own faith; I’m too busy trying to grow the church’s faith
• I can’t see that my spiritual strengths are beginning to atrophy from lack of use because I’m too focused on everyone else’s strengths and weaknesses.
• I can’t see my spiritual journey anymore, I’m too busy looking at everyone else’s.
• Unbeknownst to me, my weaknesses … and doubts … are deepening.

Before long, my identity is tied up in everything around me, specifically the rise and fall of the church, and I stop looking for the pitfalls in my own faith.

• Spending time with God turns into enduring time for God.
• Ministering to people becomes working for pay.
• Spiritual growth in the church turns into a check mark for organizational success.
• Questions become doubts.
• Conviction becomes guilt.
• Sin grows unbeatable.

As a leader in the church, I am now leading out of fear instead of following out of faith. Fear of failure. Fear of God really showing up. Fear of being found out. I am no longer a follower of Christ; I am no longer following at all. I’ve lost my way. I think this is one of the greatest “blind spots” of pastors and leaders today. It is a blind spot because we usually don’t see what we aren’t focused on. We focus on the spiritual growth/failings of the church so strenuously that we ignore our own spiritual needs. It is a blind spot because we very rarely allow people around us into our spiritual journey deep enough to see the difference. It is a blind spot because we would often rather try to fix everyone else around us instead of taking a good, long, hard look in the mirror. So today, take a good look.

1. Look at your spiritual health – not the church’s and not someone else’s. Are you advancing in your faith or falling away from it?
2. Look at your habits – what you are doing and what you aren’t doing. Are you exercising your faith or is your faith beginning to atrophy?
3. Look at your entire life – physical, emotional, and spiritual. Are other areas of your life falling apart too? Physical well being? Temper? Emotions?
4. Look at your struggles - Are temptations growing stronger? Do you find yourself in compromising positions more often?

No one knows they need to be found until they first realize they are lost. If you are where I was, you can find your way again, but it isn’t easy. It takes some thick skin, some perseverance, and a lot of help and grace:

1. Thick Skin – God will take a scalpel to your spiritual journey and separate it from the journey you thought you were on. Surgery hurts.
2. Perseverance – This is the part where the Holy Spirit begins to heal you. Think of it as physical therapy to reengage your weakened muscles.
3. A Lot of Help – You can’t do this alone. You will need a cheering section and an accountability partner. People you trust, who will help you, not judge you.
4. Grace – While your perspective will change, it will take a while for your lifestyle and habits to come along. I’m so grateful for God’s grace!

For me, my spiritual journey feels fresh again, for the first time in a long time. I feel like I am climbing the mountain again, which is both frightening and exhilarating. My muscles ache, my mind swims with doubts, and I’m just taking small step. But I know where I am, and I know where I’m going. It feels good to know my way again.

The Gospel According to Me:

• I’m a mess. I need help. God, save me through your Son, Jesus.
• Now that I’m saved, I’ll give You the best I can, which will prove that I love You, God.
• I’ll labor hard to please you, because you deserve my best efforts.
• When I fail, I’ll depend on Your grace, but I’ll work harder not to do it again.
• Obeying You, I’ll help others and tell people about Jesus.
• Obedience will make me a better follower.
• In the end, I will spend eternity with You, because You saved me.
• And in my life, I will give You glory.

The Gospel According to God:

• Michael, you’re a mess. You need help. Michael, I will save you through my Son, Jesus.
• Now that You’re saved, I’ll live through you to be the best “you” you can be, which will prove that I love you, Michael.
• I’ll labor in you, which will please Me, giving you the best of Me, My Holy Spirit.
• When you fail, you’ll depend on My grace, but you’ll do it again (and again, and again). I’ll still work hard in You.
• I’ll use your obedience to help others, and your life to tell people about Jesus.
• My Spirit working in you will make you a better follower.
• In the end, I will open eternity to you, because I love you.
• And in all of life, I will be glorified.

Which gospel are you living by, the gospel according to “me,” or the Gospel according to Him?

I posted some random thoughts the other day, but there is one recurring truth that keeps coming to me again and again, and I need to share a bit more about it. Before I do, read Palm 51 for me …

Psalm 51 is one of the most popular songs from David. See if any of this sounds familiar:

• “Create in me a clean heart, O God” (vs. 10)
• “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation” (vs. 12
• “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (vs. 17)

Great verses, all of them, but there are 3 words that have thundered through my heart the last few days:

• “According to”
• “Then”

ACCORDING TO

It is really easy to rush past these words in the first few verses of Psalm 51, but don’t do it. These two words are the essence of the Gospel (that will be the next post). Read it again…

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”

According to your unfailing love. According to your great compassion. Not according to what I’ve done. Not according to what I’ve earned. Not according to me at all. In fact, according to absolutely nothing I can ever say, do, or be, but according to YOUR unfailing love and great compassion.

For us, that’s the Gospel. That’s everything. God’s kindness is so great, His compassion so immense, His love is so wide and high and deep and long. According to what HE has done; according to who HE is. It is only according to God’s character that we can be forgiven … made pure … be redeemed. (The word used for “pure” in Hebrew literally means “un-sin.” How cool is that?! God makes us “un-sin.”) Put simply, the Gospel begins with God’s character and ends with God’s action – His compassion causes Him to make us “un-sin,” or pure.

So according to who He is, we are given a new, clean heart. The joy of salvation is restored to us. The presence of the Holy Spirit is graciously given to us. This leads to the next word:

THEN

“Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.”
- Psalm 51:13 

Because of who you are, because of what you’ve done, as a response to You, THEN, I will act. I will proclaim. I will praise. I will tell everyone about who you are and what you’ve done! Because of your Gospel, I vow to praise you through action.

So here’s how this works for me:

• I can continue to try to manufacture redemption through my efforts, or I can accept purity according to His character.
• I can sit on redemption and do nothing with the Gospel, or I can live a “then” faith that puts the Gospel in action.
• I can continue to think that the Gospel only saves me and miss out on the truth that it also sanctifies me, or I can grab hold of the Gospel with both hands and let it consume every part of my life.
• I can put my confidence in this life, or I can put my confidence in Christ.

What about you? Where is the Gospel in your life?

• Dallas is a BIG place … with a lot of construction work on their interstates! Because of this, I have been completely, and I mean completely, reliant on my GPS. The GPS I have is old and cheap (read S-L-O-W). Understanding how “off track” I would be without my GPS, why don’t I rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my life more? The Holy Spirit doesn’t just keep me “on” track, He helps me back on track when I wander off thinking I know the way better than He does. (I’ve spent a lot of time “wandering” around Dallas.)
• As a pastor of a church, I cannot complain about the absence of the power and presence of God in the church when I am not pursuing the power and presence of God in my own life.
• Yesterday was halloween. Several people have asked me what I think about Halloween, so HERE is a great blog post from a college friend of mine. Well said Joe.
• I have put together a “50 by Fifty” list of what I hope to accomplish in the next 10 years (I am turning 40 next year, you know). It has been a challenging and healthy exercise.
• Speaking of exercise, it is frightening to me how much my physical well-being effects my spiritual well-being. When I feel good physically, I worship better than when I feel fat, tired, and unlikeable.
• Speaking of being unlikeable, we (I) strive way too much to be liked by people instead of being used by God. Sometimes that gets in the way of my obedience and pursuit of God.
• People say, “It is easy to miss the forest for the trees,” meaning we often miss the power/beauty of the big picture because all we can see are the trees in front of us. True. But often it is easy to miss the trees for the forest, because all we can see is the vision of the big picture instead of recognizing how beautiful each tree is.
• After visiting one of the largest churches in America, a mid-sized church of a few thousand people, and a start up church, I have mixed feelings about “big” churches. Don’t get me wrong, churches should want to grow bigger and bigger, but not at the cost of authenticity. Excellence may be more attractive than authenticity, but authenticity is more powerful.
• HBO is not a good thing. Is it possible any more to have a “grown up” (read “no cartoons) channel without having to dodge “adult movies?” And don’t even get me started on “the title of the movie will not appear on your statement” purchases in hotel rooms. Just a reminder, God sees beyond the titles on your statements and so does your conscience …
• Sometimes God gives you directions on what to do, and sometimes He doesn’t, but most of the time He has already told you more than once what to do. If His voice is silent when you are asking for direction, maybe that’s His way of tell you to stop asking and start doing. In the words of Gerrick Taylor from Live Oak, “Don’t tell me, SHOW ME!”
• I would be a better follower of Christ (and leader of people) if I were more like a Muslim. Sounds strange, but hear me out. If I were disciplined to pray every day without fail … If I were willing to do whatever it took to be considered a passionate follower of Jesus … If I were consumed by knowing the Bible and living its truths out in tangible ways … If I saw my entire life as a small part of Christ instead of seeing Christ as a small part of my life … I’m just saying …
• (Don’t get your panties in a wad about that last idea of being more like a Muslim. I’m not suggesting we become militant and violent like some in the Muslim faith do (though it would be a good for many Christians to read through the history of the crusades as a reminder of how violent we have been). All I’m suggesting is that my life would shine brighter for Christ if I had a deeper level of commitment to Him, like Muslims have to Allah, or Jews have to God, or Tom Cruise has to L. Ron Hubbard!)
• Hotels that charge for everything individually – $12/night to park, $12/day for internet access, etc. – would make more money through loyalty programs if they dropped their room prices below market value. Most of us would stay there for cheaper and buy the extras instead of staying their for more and not buying the extras.
• Who buys “movies that are in the theater” movies in their hotel rooms for $19 + tax? (Hello, that’s a matinee, coke AND popcorn at a theater!)
• It’s hard to be still and listen to God when you won’t shut up.
• Great followers make good leaders because they understand the need to surrender, even when they’re the one “out front” or “on top.”
• I am married to an angel.
• While I am saved by grace and nothing else, my actions display my heart and gratitude for God’s grace.
• I am not the man I want to be … but God isn’t done with me yet.

I’m finished with my lunch now. One more thing I’ve learned on this trip: be open to do anything God asks you to do. Today I was encouraged by a total stranger and I believe I was used by God to encourage him. It’s amazing how God will put you right where you need to be when you follows His GPS …

Maybe today we’re not supposed to be team-building.
Maybe today we’re not supposed to be developing leaders.
Maybe today we’re not supposed to be programming the service for the weekend.
Maybe today we’re not supposed to be administrating the business of the church.
Maybe today we’re not supposed to be building the church. (Maybe that’s the Holy Spirit’s job.)

Maybe today we are supposed to:

1. Mourn the world’s “lostness,” and
2. Celebrate our “foundness.”

“You know that from [my] first day … I have done the Lord’s work humbly and with many tears … I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear, either publicly or in your homes. I have had one message for [everyone] alike – the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus.”
- Acts 20:18-21

 Lord, may I not become so overwhelmed by the “stuff” of my calling or enamored by the outcome of it that I forget the purpose of it. May my life preach a great sermon today.

Maybe I’m better off without the GPS …

Actually, if I’m being honest, it isn’t the GPS that bugs me, it’s the not knowing where I’m going that’s the problem. What I get aggravated with is hearing the directions and seeing the choices, but still being unsure of which way is the right way to go.

Ever felt like that? You know, like you’re being pushed in different directions that look, feel, and seem “right,” but you still don’t know where you’re going to end up?

I’ve wrestled with God about this one for most of my life. I would like to know both where I’m going AND how to get there, not just one or the other.

So, here are few thoughts on why it is often so hard to see where God is leading you:

1. YOU’RE TOO FOCUSED ON WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.
   It doesn’t take a genius to know that you can’t end up at two different destinations at the same time. So many times I focus on where I want to go instead of where God wants me to go, and then I blame God for not “showing me the way.” The problem is, He DID show me the way, I just didn’t like the destination.
2. YOU’RE TOO FOCUSED ON HOW YOU WANT TO GET THERE.
   Ever heard the phrase, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die to get there?” Apply that thought here. Too often I want to go a different route than the one God wants me to take, and on the detour I end up in the wrong place. This is ESPECIALLY true when I try to take shortcuts. THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS WHEN FOLLOWING GOD’S PLANS. 
3. YOU’RE TOO INTERESTED IN EVERYONE ELSE’S PLANS FOR YOU.
   I often want to listen to other people more than I want to listen to God (usually because their way is easier than His). I’ll turn to my wife, my friends, my mentors, books, sermon, and the internet, but I neglect to turn to God. What does the latest super-pastor say? What does the latest fad book say? What does Oprah say? What does culture dictate? How about, “What does God’s Spirit have to say?”
4. YOU’RE TOO INTERESTED IN EVERYONE ELSE’S PLAN.
   It sounds like the last point, but it is quite different. So many times I have seen God’s plan for someone else and tried to hijack it to fit my life. “Well, it worked for them!” The problem with that is that God has a specifically tailored plan for me, and when I try to put on someone else’s plan it’s kind of like trying to wear someone else’s suit. On a side note, I think this reason is the most heartbreaking to God. He created me to be the only me there is; how insulting it must be to Him when I try to be somebody else’s “me” instead of just, you know, being me.
5. YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO LISTEN TO GOD’S PLAN.
   When our girls were younger we established a bedtime routine to help them know that it was time for bed. We would always run the same routine each night so that they would know what was coming. Have you ever seen parents that didn’t have a plan or routine for their kids try to convince them it was bedtime? The fighting, screaming, kicking, sometimes biting? It’s an ugly scene! But in the end, after the kid has completely worn themselves out, where do they end up? IN BED! How many times have you been unwilling to listen to and abide by God’s plan – fighting, kicking, screaming, and wearing yourself out – just to end up right where He wanted you anyway? 
6. YOU’RE NOT READY TO HEAR GOD’S PLAN.
   I remember auditioning for a performance group in college and being turned down. I thought I was a shoo-in because I had made the group the 2 previous years. After I didn’t make the cut I approached one of the directors demanding an answer. She told me I wasn’t ready to hear the directors’ reasons yet, but that someday I would be. Needless to say, I was ticked! Truth is, she was right. I would never have heard the heart of their reasoning, just their words. So often God tells us the same thing – “Trust me, you’re not ready to know everything yet. Just trust me.” Which leads to the last and most important reason … 
7. KNOWING GOD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWING HIS PLAN.
   The more you know God, the more you will trust Him. The more you trust Him, the less you need to know about His plan. I know that seems counterintuitive. It seems like it should be, the more you know Him, the more you’ll trust Him, and the more you’ll know His plan, but it doesn’t work that way. In fact, in my experience, the more I know the plan the more I try to dictate to God the way I think it should be done instead of submitting to Him. In other words, the more I know the plan, the more I try to control it instead of simply trusting God.

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; 
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.”
- Proverbs 3:5-7 (Message)

I have come to the conclusion that this lesson – trusting God and listening to His voice in everything I do – is one of the most difficult and most rewarding lessons of life. When I look back and see long periods of struggle in my life it is usually because I was either going in my own direction or trying to control His direction for me. Conversely, when I see times of growth, depth, and effectiveness, it has been because I have been listening and following.

May God help us as we follow where He leads.

I forget that first and foremost I am a Follower of Jesus Christ.

Our summer here in Bluffton has been hotter than usual. A few weeks back I undertook re-landscaping our entire yard, all the way around the house, tearing out bushes and trees, planting new grass, laying weed barrier, mulch, and rocks – all over 4 days in 95 degree 100% humidity. Karrie and the girls were in Indiana during all of this, so at the end of each day I simply came inside the house completely drenched in sweat, and crashed. After a few days my body started to revolt! My back hurt, my arms were sore, my skin was sunburnt … While I wasn’t a wreck, I was totally spent!

While I don’t run into that kind of physical exhaustion regularly, I do run into it quite a bit spiritually. I run and run and run and run. I give and listen to others and pour myself out as much as I can. I try to teach and lead my girls at home. I try to love and support my wife. I try to serve with passion and effectiveness at the church. I SPEND all that I have.

But this summer I’m returning to a few core thoughts that are helping me stay more balanced in my spiritual life. Here are a few things that God is impressing on me to help keep me balanced:

• I NEED TO BE FILLED

I’ve never been a big water drinker, but coming in from those hot days of landscaping nothing feels better than a huge glass of water. In fact, I filled up all day as I was doing the yard work. Filling up with water all day enabled me to continue working. It is the same spiritually. Filling up in small amounts throughout our “work days” – reading, listening to some David Crowder, praying, listening to a podcast of a sermon, whatever it takes – keeps us balanced and efficient. When I neglect to be-refilled spiritually, I’m out of balance.

• I NEED TO BE CHALLENGED

Anne Frank said, “Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.” When I am the least challenged, I am the least motivated, and that is when I tend to slip into laziness and apathy. When I am spiritually lazy and emotionally apathetic, I am out of balance.

• I NEED TO REST

There is a difference between resting and being lazy. When I sleep through the night after a long day at work no one accuses me of being lazy, but when I’ve sat around and done/accomplished nothing for 3 days no one accuses me of resting. The imbalance most people struggle with dances between the two, when I refuse healthy rest because I don’t want to be lazy, or when I allow my times of rest to stretch over into laziness. I NEED rest, especially after a heavy or overwhelming season of hard work. When I refuse or abuse rest, I am out of balance.

• I NEED TO BE FOCUSED

The days that I come to the office without a plan or a direction are my least productive days. These are the days I find more information on imdb.com than anyone should have time for. The sad part of it is that I leave the office more frustrated and distracted than when I arrived! This is true of my spiritual life as well. Settling for the status quo is the quickest and most unnoticeable way to deafen your heart to the voice of the Holy Spirit. When I am spiritually unfocused and unaware, I am out of balance.

• I NEED TO BE SAVED

That may sound too simple and a bit strange, but it is none-the-less true. Sometimes we run so hard and so long and so fast that we forget this very simple truth: we all need a Savior. It’s very easy to see how everyone else needs to be saved and to buy into the lie that I have to be the one to save them, but that’s not true. Everyone does need to be saved, but I am not the answer, Christ is. I am in need of a Savior just like (if not more than) everyone else. When my arrogance overtakes reality … when my drive to accomplish replaces my desire to serve … when I get to the point of forgetting that I need Christ more than He needs me, I’m out of balance.

And so, as I pass the peak of summer and begin looking to the second half of the year, here’s to a balanced and productive rest of the year. May God help me balance my life and pull me closer to Him!

1. WE ASSUME THAT IT’S THEIR FAULT.
   Most conflicts arise because someone is upset with someone else based on what they feel the other person has done wrong. “Well, she said …,” “Did you see what he did to me …,” “Well I didn’t mean it that way, they just misunderstood me …,” “It’s not my fault they took it that way …” By nature, a conflict arises because two people feel that they are right, conversely believing that the other person is wrong. What would happen if we assumed the conflict was OUR fault and we approached the other person out of humility instead of defensiveness? (Check out Ephesians 4:2-3)
2.  WE REFUSE TO SEE OUR FAULTS.
   I hate to admit it, but I have a hard time admitting when I’m wrong, even when I know I am. This is ESPECIALLY true when I’ve invested a lot of time and energy into proving how right I am! Have you ever fought so hard for something and realized about half way through the conflict you had to change what you were fighting for due to your original point being wrong?! (Stick with me on this one.) So many times we realize mid-conlict that we’re wrong but are too prideful to admit it. What would happen if we were quick to confess our faults in order to move past the conflict? (Check out James 5:16)
3.  WE CAN’T MOVE PAST ANY FAULTS.
   I’m amazed by how many relationships are ruined because of this one. How many friendships/relationships have you seen fall apart because one or both of the people arguing couldn’t bet past the conflict even after there was an apology? We get so hung up on bitterness, anger, and an inability to truly forgive – either their faults or our own – that the conflict lasts long after its supposed resolution. What would happen if we truly forgave, realizing that we too have been forgiven? (Check out Ephesians 4:31-32)

By definition, a fault is “a deficiency or imperfection.” While none of us would ever claim to be perfect, we sure are quick to point out everyone else’s imperfections (faults) during a conflict before acknowledging what we already know – we’re not perfect (faulted).